Sparks from the dark side

Ken Layne revels in the police blotter for Sparks, Nevada, “done in a dark narrative style.” Here in Amherst, things are lighter. Every week we’ve got at least one or two loud, unexplained noises, rabid raccoons, people who “check out OK,” dogs that bark but are gone by the time the public defenders arrive. I’ll find a few and post ’em.
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OK… I’m back. Some fender benders, a loud band, a stolen cell phone… ahh, here we go…

“A person or animal was reported stuck in the ice on Cranberry Pond Feb.20 at 2.56 P.M. Police wehn to the pond and found the object to be a hay bail.” And, “A River Road resident was advised not to snowblow snow into the road.” And, under the “Suspicious Activity” heading, “Sidewalks were reported unshoveled on Amity Street. Police said the sidewalks appeared to be clear of snow.” And here’s one of our “Disturbances:” “A West Street woman requested assistance in removed (sic) someone from the home with whom she was arguing. She later called back to say the problem had been settled.”