Emergency care… and a perm

Congress today will vote on the Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008.

The act was conceived as a $700 billion emergency defibrillation for an economy in cardiac arrest, but now includes a $170 billion perm, tatoo and piercing just because some moronic members of Congress thinks the patient will look better that way.

If Congress passes the act, prices will rise briefly as sellers back off and “hey, something good just happened buyers” trickle in, but then will sell off because the news was anticipated and the fundamental disfunctions of the economy — paralytic bankers, over-leveraged consumers, foreign-cash dependent Treasury — will still remain.

If Congress doesn’t pass the act — and who really believes these boobs won’t pause to at least put lipstick on the twitching patient? — then we’ll just go into an ugly slide immediately.